


You're Not Alone

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny is adorable, Crowley and Feelings, Crowley definetely Ships It, Dean can be a prick sometimes, F/M, Kevin Ships It, Southern Drawls are sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2648966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Dean asks a good friend to check in on another good friend? Well, the unexpected, what else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What wouldn't I do for these boys???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a call that results in a long drive.

”You want me to WHAT?“ I almost yelled into the phone. I walked in circles around my Isetta as I listened to his reply. “Alright… Now explain this to me: Why?” Another few walks around my car and a lot of explanations later, the whole thing actually started to make sense. A little. I sighed.  
“Fine. But let me tell you two things. First, you owe me one. And second. If anything, anything at all is fishy about this guy, I’m out of there.” He answered in the affirmative and hung up. A minute later my phone played Amy Lee’s haunting version of Sally’s Song, and I opened the text , checking my destination before I got into the car and started on my way.

“Benny Lafitte?” He slowly turned to face me, the red sky of the setting sun behind him. An almost wicked smile curved his lips.  
“Maybe. Who’s asking?” His southern drawl made my skin crawl – in a pleasant way. Odd. I narrowed my eyes at him.  
“F/N-L/N. I was told you could use some help.”  
“You were? Now, who would tell you such a thing?” he replied.  
“Dean Winchester.” He stiffened and narrowed his eyes in turn.  
“Why?” was all he had to say to that.  
“Because, for reasons I’m not entirely fond of, he cares about your general well-being. Now, can we take this to a less public place?”  
He nodded in agreement.  
“Where are you staying?” I asked, his attitude starting to let a slow trickle of frustration seep into me.  
“My car. All I’ve got.” he explained. I responded with a sigh.  
“Alright. Where are you parked?”  
“Right over there.” he nodded towards the slightly oddly shaped truck parked in the spot right next to my exceedingly oddly shaped wheels. I could not suppress a laugh.  
“Come on. I got a motel room when I arrived in town. We can talk there.” He nodded again. As we reached the lot, he made motions to get into his own truck, but I stopped him.  
“No. The motel’s lot is tiny. Only one spot per room. We’re taking Bubblegum.”  
“Bubblegum?” He raised an eyebrow questioningly. I nodded at my sky-blue Isetta.  
“Bubblegum.” I reconfirmed. He gave a short laugh, the deep sound hovering in the air around us. “Shut up and get in.” I said, opening the front and sitting where the steering wheel would be. With a surprised expression, he sat down next to me. I closed the door, started the car and pulled out of the spot. We rode in a droning silence that I only broke once we were at the motel and he hesitated at my open door.  
“Come on in. I don’t bite.” I said, gesturing for him to move. He frowned and entered the room. As I closed the door behind him, he spoke.  
“Dean mention I might?”  
I replied with a scoff.  
“Please. Dean told me you drink blood, not people.” At this, his eyes widened.  
“And you trust me to hold true to that?” he asked. Again, I scoffed.  
“No, of course not. But I trust Dean. Also, I’ve got a few doses of Vamptonite left. One is in my pocket since I rolled into town.”  
Benny chuckled.  
“You’re a hunter alright. So what’s the story?”  
I sighed at the question, sitting cross-legged on the bed while motioning for him to sit in the chair across from me.  
“As I said. Dean said you could use some help. He asked e to swing by.”  
“Last time I talked to Dean, he told me end of the line.” Benny’s voice was laced with just a tiny hint of sadness.  
“I know. He told me. But he also told me that no longer being able to directly help you doesn’t mean he no longer cares. He still considers you his brother. Of sorts.”  
“And what does he consider you?” he asked with an undertone I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  
“ A sister. Of sorts.”  
“Of sorts.”  
“Yes.” I confirmed. I then decided to elaborate, suddenly feeling the need to assure him there was nothing going on between me and Dean. “I first met the boys a few years ago at Harvelle’s Roadhouse, nice bar, kind of a hideout for hunters. We went on a few hunts together, calling each other when we needed help. And we grew close. Surprisingly, he never came onto me, and I certainly never came onto him. But we look out for each other. So if he asks me for a reasonable favor, There’s hardly anything I wouldn’t do for him. We saved each others lives a few times, after all.”  
He frowned slightly.  
“So this is a reasonable favor then?”  
“I suppose so. Generally, I’m not that fond of your kind, as you can probably imagine, but Dean told me what happened in Purgatory and after. Reluctantly, but he did. I think he still hasn’t told Sam all of it. But asking me to basically look after a vampire required a certain degree of information. Anyway, he told me what he felt he could, and it was good enough for me. More than good enough, actually. In fact, I want to thank you.”  
It took me a lot of my courage to get up and walk over to Benny, who had not taken the chair and was instead leaning against the edge of the table. He eyed me cautiously as I cam closer and actually held his breath when I embraced him. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around me in return. Then he took a deep breath. Suddenly, his whole body went rigid, his hands shifted to my shoulders to push me away roughly, and he turned his back to me, breathing heavily.  
“I should leave.” he forced out. I blinked, still stunned by his abrupt actions.  
“Why?” I simply asked. It made me feel a little stupid.  
He clenched his fists, and the muscles in his neck were visibly strained. When he did not respond, it clicked. I put my left hand on his shoulder and turned hi around, just a s his fangs retracted. My eyes widened slightly, but I calmed myself as soon as I saw his expression. He didn’t want to hurt me, he really didn’t, but he was afraid he might.  
“You’re out of blood, aren’t you?” Concern laced my voice. I met him no more than an hour ago, and I already cared for him. How did this happen so quickly? Benny nodded.  
“Ran out two days ago.” He sounded ashamed. Again, I sighed as I reached for my phone. Two days ago… he must be starving by now. Now I also knew why Dean had asked if I still had hospital contacts all over the country.  
“What are you doing?” Benny asked, slightly nervous.  
“I know a guy in a hospital two towns over. He handles blood donations there.” his head shot up in surprise. I quirked my eyebrows. “Any preferences?”  
“No.” he scoffed. “I usually have AB negative, but in the end, blood’s blood.”  
“You got it.” I nodded and dialed. It took five rings for my contact to pick up. “Jimmy? Yes, F/N here. Great, you? Sweet. Listen, I need some blood. No, don’t really matter. No. But AB negative would be good. Yes. As soon as possible. we could be there in… a few hours, I guess. What do you mean, no? Ah… yes, of course. No, I can see why. Of course. Same time? Yes, as much as you can manage. Great. Yes. I’ll see you then. Thanks. Bye.” I ended the call with a giggle and a scoff. “Sure, when hell freezes over. See you tomorrow.” I shoved my phone back into my pocket and turned around to look at Benny, who was frowning slightly, which I dismissed. At this point, we had more pressing matters.  
“Alright, we have a slight problem. We can get you stocked up. Just not tonight. They lock all the fresh donations up once they’re labeled and treated. Jimmy will have to sneak it out throughout the day. So we can only get any tomorrow. Now, how are you feeling?”  
Benny shrugged.  
“Will you be able to make it?”  
“I won’t die from another day without blood. But it will get rapidly more difficult to control my thirst.”  
“And you’re in control now?”  
“In enough.”  
“I assume you would be able to stop drinking at any given moment?” I had a hard time believing that I was actually considering this. I barely even knew the guy. But Dean trusted him, and I could not have him running around hungry any longer than necessary.  
“I could. What’s it matter?”  
“I can’t have you running around hungry and losing control. Since I don’t see anyone else lining up, I’ll give you just enough of my blood for you to hold up decently until this time tomorrow.”  
“No.” he grunted.  
“Excuse me?” I hadn’t expected a refusal.  
“You said it yourself. I drink blood, not people.”  
“So you’d rather risk losing control?” He shrugged. “Okay, listen, Benny. I don’t particularly like this either, but it would be, as they say, the lesser of two evils. I trust Dean, and Dean trusts you. So if you tell me you can stop, I believe you.” I explained. He shook his head.  
“ I can’t .I suppose Dean told you everything that happened on the island as well, so-“  
“He did not.” I interrupted. “I told you. He gave me only the information I needed. He said something happened involving some island, but he did not specify. It’s none of my business, so if you don’t want me to know, don’t tell me.”  
“Alright. Then let me just tell you… There was a girl, and I promised her a long time ago not to drink from people. Ever again. I haven’t. And I won’t.”  
“Benny, listen. This is all very honorable, but don’t you think it’s better to drink just enough, just as much as you need from someone who can take it, with their consent, than to lose control and drain an innocent at random? Than to kill?”  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Benny shook his head.  
“Believe me, I do.” I said, not bothering to elaborate. That was a story I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, It was bad enough that the boys and their angel knew. “So what’s it gonna be?”  
He looked down uncomfortably before sighing and shrugging. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were boring into mine from under the hat he was still wearing.  
“You sure?” he asked. I nodded in reply.  
“As I said, Dean trusts you. That means, by extension, I trust you as well. To a degree , at least. Besides, if anything happens that’s not supposed to happen, Dean WILL hunt you down, and I don’t think you want that.” He scoffed. A small smile appeared on my lips, and I thought his eyes lit up just a bit at the sight of it. I shrugged the idea off. “So let’s get this over with. I stepped closer to him, but he caught my arms in a sturdy grip.  
“No.” he huffed and steered me towards the bed. “Over here.” I raised my eyebrows at him. He shrugged again and explained. “You will probably get slightly dizzy. You want to fall and hit your head?”  
“No, of course not. Thank you.”  
“I’m about to suck the very life out of you. Don’t thank me.”  
I nodded, closing my eyes and laying my head to the right side as I felt the cheap cover of the motel bed brush my legs through the fabric of my boot cut jeans. As I heard his fangs become visible, I took a deep breath. The next thing I felt was Benny resting a hand on the right side of my neck while the other remained on my arm. His touch had a strangely soothing effect on me.  
“You ready?” he asked.  
“Yes.” I breathed.  
Without further warning his fangs pierced my skin and I felt the blood he took leave my system. As I winced at the sudden pain, his thumbs started tracing the skin of my neck and arm, soothing me yet again.  
It was over as suddenly as it began. His mouth detached from my neck and I opened my eyes to find Benny facing away from me, his hands gone as well. Then he was back, pressing a towel he had quickly fetched from he bathroom to the wound. As I eyed him curiously, his lips showing no trace of my blood, my vision blurred and my knees gave out. He caught me before I could hit the floor and gently placed me under the covers as I passed out.

I woke in what appeared to be the middle of the night. Darkness surrounded me as I cautiously sat up. Benny was sitting on the chair now.  
“How are you? he asked, his southern drawl making me shiver again.  
I nodded to indicate that I was alright. Big mistake. It made me hiss in pain as I was made aware of the searing headache that, for me, always accompanied the loss of larger quantities of blood. Benny looked at me, concern in his eyes.  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I took so much.”  
“You didn’t. I can handle it. I always get a headache when I loose certain amounts of blood.”  
“You passed out, F/N. Don’t tell me that’s normal for a hunter.” he argued.  
“No, it’s not. But it wasn’t just the blood loss. I’m tired. I didn’t get much sleep the last two nights. I was on the road to get here. Now, can you do me a favor and hand me the water bottle on the table and my duffel bag, please? I need to get rid of this headache.”  
He shuffled over to the bed, handing me the requested items. As his hand grazed mine, the warmth of his skin made me realize how cool the air in the room actually was, and I began to shiver as I dug around in my duffel for the bottle of Aspirin. I dropped the duffel on the floor when I found it, but any attempt of my trembling fingers to open the security lid failed pathetically. So much for “someone who can take it”.  
Benny snatched the bottle from me and opened it, handing it back. He then opened the water bottle and handed me that as well.  
“Thanks.” I murmured. Noticing how he looked slightly awkward just standing there, I added “You can sit down here, you know.” while patting the empty space next to me. He reluctantly sat down as I took two of the pills and then chugged down almost all of the contents of the water bottle to help make up for the blood he took. I rested the bottle on my thigh.  
“So how are you feeling now?” I asked, checking his features from the corner of my eye. He looked nervous. At my question, he scoffed.  
“You gave me your blood. You passed out. You have a massive headache. And yet you ask how I feel?”  
I nodded, refusing to speak again before he answered my question.  
“Better. Much better. In fact, I think I did not feel this good since Dean and me got out of Purgatory. I could still use a drink, but blood given willingly, out of kindness, seems to provide a whole different kind of satisfaction than any other way it could be taken. But then, that might be a psychological thing. Might just be me.” he explained, and I could have sworn there was a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. I smiled. Then I started to feel the general discomfort of having slept in my jeans. I flipped over the sheets and swung my legs out of the bed, reaching for my duffel again.  
“Let’s get back to that. I’ll just quickly go change.” With that, I slowly made my way to the bathroom, swaying slightly. When I opened the door, I caught Benny’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, watching me cautiously, as if to ascertain I didn’t topple over.  
It took some time, but I finally emerged from the bathroom again, clad in flannel pj bottoms and a black camisole. Still swaying, I dropped my duffel by the table, grabbed another bottle of water from the mini-fridge, and crawled back under the covers, shivering, the cool of the room now taking full effect. My teeth were almost clattering. Not knowing what else to do, I clutched Benny’s hands in mine, emitting a satisfied hum as his warmth radiated through me. He cleared his throat, and I looked up at him from under my lashes. He was now definitely blushing.  
“Sorry.” I mumbled, slowly letting go of his hands. “It’s just chilly, and with the lack of sleep and blood…”  
“S’alright.” he replied, closing his fingers around mine. I smiled again.  
“So…” I wanted to steer back to what he said before I went to change. “I believe you were telling me my blood was the best you ever had…”  
“I…” he interrupted himself, clearing his throat again before he continued. “So to say. Back when I still drank people, I would drain someone completely when I fed, and my hunger would be sated. But it did not give me the same feeling drinking from you did. Some of my kind get off on the fear of their kills, but that never gave me anything. You, however… I really can’t describe it. I believe it was the whole thing. You offered me part of yourself, of your own free will, without fear or violence involved, and I think that gave the physical connection a psychological component that just made it that much… more.” he trailed off.  
“I see. Kind of like sex with someone you actually love.” I mused. His eyes, previously focused on our hands linked in the space between us , snapped up to lock with mine. His pupils were wide, his mouth slightly open. “Sorry. I didn’t… I just wanted to understand.”  
He shook his head before answering.  
“No, no, you’re right. I just… didn’t think to put it like that.”  
“That’s… whatever. As long as we’re good.”. I yawned. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m obviously still really tired, so I’d like to get some shut-eye now.”  
“Of course. I’ll leave.” he made motions to separate our hands and get up, but I stopped him. Giving him my blood had not changed my opinions about vampires in general, however I certainly saw him as an individual in a different light.  
“You don’t have to.” I meant it. “Do you have anywhere to go?” he shrugged. “Then stay. Come under the covers with me for all I care. I’m cold anyway. A problem you don’t seem to have.”  
His eyebrows shot up.  
“You trust me this much?” he asked, incredulous.  
“I do. I guess you were not the only one who was somewhat influenced by the whole experience earlier. So what do you think?”  
By way of an answer he got up and disposed of his hat on the table, took off his shoes and jacket, and slipped between the covers with me. I buried my head in the pillow while snuggling under the covers as much as I could, but it was not enough. I yearned for more warmth, so my hands felt around until I found his bare arm and latched onto him.  
“I hope that’s okay.” I murmured.  
“Yes.” he simply replied.  
Satisfied, I drew my knees closer to my chest and started to slowly drift off. The last thing I realized before falling soundly asleep, just around the edges of my consciousness, was Benny’s hand detaching mine from his arm, which he then slowly, hesitantly, snuck around my waist as he pulled me closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I only wrote that bit about Amy Lee's version of "Sally's Song" because it actually is my text-ringtone. I later figured that it kind of sums up the whole story pretty nicely, so you could consider it the inofficial soundtrack, if you want...


	2. Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets sweet, informative, awkward, hot, and sweet again. In that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the smut!  
> If you don't like smut, you have been warned, and should stop reading. Like, now...

Waking up in the morning, I felt the sun on my back, shining through the curtains. Cautiously, I opened my eyes, just a bit. My head was resting on Benny’s chest, my left arm across his stomach, and I felt his arm around my shoulders, still holding me to him. He was breathing deeply, evenly, as if asleep (did vamps sleep? I was going to have to ring Sam about that…), so I looked up at his face and found that his eyes were indeed closed. However, as I shifted slightly, his eyes shot open and his arm dropped from my shoulders instantly.  
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, looking down at me.  
I hoisted myself up on my elbow, withdrawing from his chest and stomach, and earnestly looked into his eyes.  
“What for? Was I complaining?”  
“I guess not.” An honest, albeit small smile lit up his features and set my heart aflutter.  
“Then don’t apologize. It was nice. It has been a long time since anybody held me as I slept. I always appreciated it, though. So, thank you for staying with me.” I kissed his scruffy cheek, and he blushed slightly. I looked into his eyes for a while before I caught myself and got out of bed.  
“So… I’m kind of starving here…” I announced while stretching. I caught him watching me intently as I did so, before I continued, “I’m gonna go get dressed, and head out to find something to stuff my face with, you wanna come with?”  
“Sure, sister, whatever you want.” he replied, and a wide grin appeared on my face.  
I was delighted he felt a strong enough connection to call me that, especially considering how comfortable I felt around him after knowing him for hardly a day. I emptied the bottle of water on the bedside table, already feeling much better about yesterdays blood loss. My initial weakness was long gone, having been enhanced by lack of sleep in the first place. Walking over to the table, I grabbed my duffel and disappeared into the bathroom, giving Benny a “Be right back.” over my shoulder. I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. An affinity for make-up I was hardly ever able to indulge in (it just didn’t lend itself to the hunting lifestyle) led me to apply some mascara and a dab of colorless, shimmering lip gloss. I reentered the room, back in my jeans, wearing a deep crimson with long sleeves and a waterfall neckline, my hair pulled up into a high ponytail. The bite mark barely showed, he must have been really careful, so I had just dabbed some concealer onto it to make it practically invisible. Benny, who had in the meantime put on his shoes and hat again, tured around to face me at the sound of the door. As he took in my appearance, his eyes widened and he took in a sharp breath, staring at me without uttering a word. Suddenly self-conscious, I eased my hands over my hips to smooth out the fabric of my top, blushing a little. I wouldn’t have been able to explain why or how, but I was definitely physically attracted to him, and I wanted him to like what he saw as well.  
“What you lookin’ at, brother?” I uttered, trying to imitate his accent. He gave me a chuckle and a pleased smile.  
“Nothin’, sister, nothin’” he said.  
“You ready then?” I reached for my black leather jacket on the back of the chair as he pulled on his own jacket, nodding, and we headed out.

Late in the afternoon, we were both sitting in Bubblegum and just rolling out of town on our way to the hospital. The day had gone by, after me having breakfast in the small diner a few doors down from the motel, with a visit to a local hunter I had business with. Benny had waited in the car for his own safety while I traded supplies and information with the gruff old man, leaving my jacket on so as to better hide the bite mark. I did not want to take any chances.  
Before we left town, we stopped at the lot where Benny’s truck was still parked to pick up his cooler, and the gas station to buy a bag of ice we threw in there. The cooler now stood behind the seats as fields passed by the windows. Benny had hardly spoken to me since we left the motel, unless spoken to. I had occasionally caught him staring at me, but very few words had been exchanged, so I was slightly baffled when his deep, raspy voice suddenly sounded through the Isetta.  
“Andrea.” he said.  
“I’m sorry, what?” I had to ask, stealing a quick glance at him. He was staring out the window.  
“The girl-woman, actually. Her name was Andrea Kormos. I met her when I was in Greece with the Vampirates, as Dean called them. We fell in love, and I decided to leave the nest. But the Old Man – the Ancient One who turned me – came after us with the nest. He beheaded me, sending me straight to Purgatory, and turned Andrea. I did not know that until recently. When Dean brought me back, I wanted to go after my Old Nest, but was beat up pretty badly by the first guys I ran into, after I beat enough out of them to end up figuring out where the nest was. That’s why Dean went to the island with me. I was captured and taken to talk to the Old Man’s second in command…” I closed my eyes for a second, dreading what came next. “…Andrea. She released me, but after I dealt with the others and the Old Man, I realized she wasn’t the same person anymore. The Andrea I had loved had been erased by the nest. She wanted to keep feeding on people, build a new nest… It just wasn’t her anymore. Dean ended up killing her.” He took a deep breath. “After that, I went back to Louisiana and worked at a diner with… family… that didn’t end well either, obviously.” he fell silent. I left it at that for a few minutes before saying anything.  
“So here we are.” I offered. He sighed in reply.  
“Here we are.”  
Silence surrounded us again as I let his tale sink in. I then drew in a few deep breaths before speaking up.  
“A while back, I was on a hunt with the boys. Sam, Dean. They had called Cas in as well. It was just that much trouble. Witches. A dozen of them. The largest Coven we ever ran into. It was… unpleasant, to put it nicely. We took them all down, one after the other. The problem was, number twelve, their leader, was hiding away in a back rom. And while Sam, Dean and Cas took care of the last three of her friends, I went ahead to face her. Stupid move. Before I could lift a finger, she had me pinned against the wall. She cast a curse, very special, very powerful. She knew she wasn’t gonna make it out alive, so I guess she wanted to leave us something to remember her by. She was done just as the boys barged in and cut off her head. She didn’t even put up a fight. The curse she cast on me outlasted her for about two weeks. I… I had this hunger. For meat. Human flesh. I nearly clawed Sam’s face off when he picked me up. I wanted to. To consume him. All of them. Skin and all. So they had Cas zap me into Bobby’s panic room. The only thing in his old place that was still intact. Once a day, he would bring me raw animal meat. I practically shoved it down my throat, but it never satisfied me. It wasn’t what I really wanted., what I craved… They did of course try to cure the curse earlier, but it was no use. So we just had to wait until it fade on its own. I still get sick when I think about it…” I ended my tale, stealing another glance at Benny, who was looking at me with an expression I just couldn’t define.  
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked. I shrugged.  
“You told me your story, I thought it was only fair to tell you mine.”  
“That was what you meant yesterday, right? When you said you knew what you were talking about?”  
“Yes.” I confirmed. “I didn’t want to tell you then, but now, I just figured that it wasn’t easy for you to tell me about Andrea, so I wanted to… I don’t know, return the favor, I guess.”  
He nodded, and we gave each other weak smiles, falling back into silence.  
About ten minutes later, we reached the hospital. I rang up Jimmy, who told me he had just finished his shift, but needed a few more minutes. He then gave me the address of a diner across town, and we drove there to wait for him. I ordered a burger and a chocolate milkshake, since I hadn’t had dinner yet, and Benny just sat there on the other side of the booth, watching me intently, without saying a word.  
Just as the waitress brought my order, the door opened behind Benny, and Jimmy entered. He looked around, saw me, and his whole face lit up.  
“Hey Jimmy!” I greeted him as I got up, a much smaller, but still genuine, smile on my lips. We hugged, and I started when I felt his hands sink lower and lower on my back, until they finally landed on my ass, squeezing tightly through my jeans. I disentangled myself and slapped him playfully with a chuckle.  
“Stop it, you creep.” I said, sitting back down. He took the seat next to me, scooting up unnecessarily close as I began to devour my burger. “Benny, Jimmy. Jimmy, Benny.” I introduced them between bites. Benny frowned, and I could have sworn I heard him growl as they shook hands. Until I was finished with my burger, it was quiet at our table, nothing to be heard but the clatter of cutlery and the murmurs of other patrons.  
“So, F/N…” Jimmy piped up as I swallowed my last bite. “What’s this all about? Do you actually need all that… stuff, or were you just looking for an excuse to see me? And if it’s the latter, what’s he doing here? I told you, I don’t do threesomes.”  
I pinched his arm and he winced in fake pain. Benny’s frown deepened.  
“Enough, Jimmy! He’s a flirt.” I directed at Benny. “Worse than Dean, if you can believe it… Anyway, yes. I actually need that stuff. I’m sorry but we’re actually in kind of a rush here, so I’d like to get this over with as quickly as possible, if you don’t mind.” I lied. As much as I liked Jimmy, right now he was getting on my nerves. Also, I really wanted to get this over with. He nodded in understanding.  
“Of course. I’m parked outside, right next to your… vehicle.”  
“Hey! Don’t hate on Bubblegum!” I narrowed my eyes at him.  
“Alright, alright! I just can’t understand how you can do what you do with that car.”  
“You know very well I had her upgraded by the best. She’s got a new heart and is perfectly suited for all the driving I have to do. And my equipment is stored in a triple locked steel trunk behind the seats. So leave her alone.” I educated him while throwing a few bills on the table to pay for my dinner and then pulling on my jacket. We all got up and exited the diner.  
Jimmy went to his car and opened the trunk while I got the cooler out of Bubblegum. I then went over to him and we traded blood for cash. I didn’t really count, but he had gotten us – or me, as far as he knew – quite a lot. The lid just so fit on the cooler, and I handed him half of the cash I had in my pocket – which I might say, was also quite a lot. Saying our goodbyes, we hugged again, he grabbed my ass again, the guys nodded at each other in farewell, Benny and I got into the car, and we were on our way back.  
Only then did I realize that Benny hadn’t spoken since we traded stories. I was unsure how to strike up a conversation, so I chose a different route. stopping at a drive-thru as we left town, I got myself another milkshake, asking for an additional empty cup, lid and straw. Just out of town the road went through a little forest, where I stopped, grabbing the cup and a blood bottle from the cooler. I stepped out of the car and through the tree line so nobody could see me and transferred the contents of the bottle to the spare cup, closing the lid before returning to my car. As I got in, I threw the empty bottle back into the cooler for the time being, and handed the cup to Benny.  
“Here. I got myself a drink for the road, you should have one too.” I said.  
A gruff “Thank you.” and a curt nod was all I got in response. I sighed and started the car again. Not keen on another silent drive, I hit play on my MP3-System, filling the car with the sounds of Rufus Wainwright’s album “Poses”.  
When we reached the motel, I was fed p with his attitude. I closed the door behind us, then turned to face him.  
“What is it? What have I done?” I demanded. No reply.  
“Seriously? You spoke two words – two!!! – since we poured our hearts out to each other and you won’t even tell me why?”  
“You want to know why?” he asked.  
“Hah! It speaks! Yes, I want to know why.” I confirmed. I did not anticipate what happened next.  
In a flash, Benny was directly in front of me, one hand at the back of my neck, the other at my waist, and pulled me in for a hot, demanding kiss. I answered in kind, our lips moving against each others in perfect sync until we had to pull away for air. His hands stayed where they were, even as he whispered against my lips.  
“I did not like the way this Jimmy looked at you, touched you. Not at all.”  
I stared at him in wide-eyed shock at his actions, my reactions, and his words. When he realized what was happening, he suddenly stepped back, taking his hands off me, and uttered:  
“I should not have done that… I’m sorry.”  
My hearted melted and I stepped closer to him again as he watched me cautiously.  
“Am I to understand-“I started “-that you were… jealous?”  
He nodded in reply, swallowing hard. I grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled his face down to mine.  
“Don’t be sorry.” I whispered.  
Then I tilted my head up and let my lips softly touch his. He put his hands back where they were before, pulling me closer once again, thus deepening the kiss. I reached up and threw his hat across the room, then proceeding to shrug off my jacket. It landed on the floor at our feet, where it was soon joined by his. As his right hand reverently traced the edges of my shirt’s neckline, I let my tongue graze his bottom lip questioningly. He indulged me, and our tongues met in a short battle for dominance neither of us won, before I began to explore every tiny bit of his mouth I could reach.  
I could still detect the faint, coppery taste of blood there, yet it did not bother me. I was way too entranced by the feel of him. Both his hands were now slowly, caressingly tracing down my body to my hips, where they disappeared under my shirt as he slowly began to push it up. I reveled in his touch, as I forced my lips to leave his to whisper “Bed.” and nothing more. His eyes widened even more, but he gave a tiny nod and began to slowly walk backwards and I followed suit, all the while kissing a sweet trail down his neck, my fingers working on the buttons of his shirt. I pushed it off his shoulders, then pushing him down to sit on the bed as I straddled his lap, taking my own shirt off the rest of the way. His fingers gingerly skimmed the edges of my purple bra and he kissed along my collarbone, earning a gasping moan from me as he gently sucked on the skin there, leaving a mark and I could feel his desire growing under me as I ground my hips into his. We both kicked off our shoes and crawled deeper onto the bed to make better use of what space we had. Still straddling him, I reached behind my back to unclasp my bra. He pulled the straps down my shoulders one by one, kissing where they had been, and let the superfluous garment drop next to the bed. As I let my hands wander over his bare chest and back, exploring, admiring, he was adoringly caressing my breasts while he kissed all over my upper body, his lips finding every scar my lifestyle had etched into my skin, without fault. Moan after moan escaped me, caused by his hot lips, as my fingertips followed the fine trail of hair that disappeared into his pants. I opened the button and pulled down the zipper before sliding my hand beneath the denim and palming him over his boxers, earning a groan against my skin. His lips closed around one of my nipples, sucking gently, causing me to catch my breath.  
“Benny!” I gasped, breathing heavily.  
He hummed in satisfaction. One of his hands rested between my shoulder blades, the other travelling up and down my spine playfully, making me shiver in anticipation of what was yet to come. I raised myself from his lap to shimmy out of my jeans and he kicked his off as well, leaving us in nothing but purple lace panties and pale blue boxers, respectively. His eyes devoured my appearance, as mine did his, and I went back to straddling his lap, grinding our hips together. I could feel his desire at my core, and was sure he knew of mine as well. Our lips met in a ravenous kiss as I pushed him down onto the mattress. Desperate to remove the last barriers, I pulled at the waistband of his boxers. With a chuckle, he rolled over, so that he was now on top.  
“Not so fast.” he murmured against my lips. He looked into my eyes, and I into his. There was something there… Desire, Lust, but something else beneath it, something I could not quite pinpoint. It couldn’t be what I thought it might. No, that was impossible…  
I was ripped from my thoughts when I felt his hands starting to trail down my body, exploring every inch of my skin, and his lips followed in their wake. He kissed a trail from my neck down across my chest, between my breasts, our panting the only sound in the room. When he reached the soft lace, dampened by desire, he hooked his fingers under the fabric, dragging it down my legs and dropping it off the bed. He kept kissing my inner thighs, occasionally nipping at the sensitive skin, his facial hair tickling slightly.  
I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled him back up to my lips. His mouth was not the part my core yearned for anyway.  
“No fair.” I breathed as the kiss broke. Knowing what I meant, he finally removed his boxers, and I had the opportunity to admire his whole physique for a moment before he lowered himself back on top of me, gazing at me with a look that could only be described as adoration.  
“Are you absolutely sure about this?” he asked, giving me a last opportunity to change my mind. I had no intention to.  
“Positive.” I said, kissing him again.  
He dragged this kiss out, his hands on either side of my head supporting most of his weight, no movement to his body save for his lips. It was tantalizing, yet frustrating. After a while I could not wait any longer, so I reached between us, gently stroking him as I spread my legs some more, guiding him into the right position. He gasped at how wet I really was for him and then, finally, sank into me at an agonizingly slow pace. The feeling was delicious. When he was completely buried in me, he gave me a few seconds to adjust, at the end of which I wrapped my legs around his waist, my hands clutching at his back. My body begged him to start moving without my lips having to utter the word and give sound to what I wanted, what I needed.  
At first, his lazy thrusts were slow, sweet torture, but then he began to pick up speed, bit by bit. My hips started to meet his with the same rhythm, each thrust hitting that perfect spot, making me moan in bliss each time. As he removed himself almost completely, only to dive back into me with a fire of need I had never experienced before, he gave his hips a little roll each time, stimulating the little bundle of nerves between my folds.  
He soon began whispering my name like a prayer, just as I felt the first tightening of the coil in my stomach. I arched my back involuntarily, pressing my chest to his as my lips kissed every bit of his face they could reach.  
Neither of us was going to last much longer, and we both knew it. I clutched him even closer than he already was, our torsos almost melting into one another, and as his thrusts became as erratic as both of our breathing already was, he buried has face in my neck, finding my sweet spot and nibbling at it, making me moan even louder in delight.  
We reached the peak at the same time, and I felt his warmth spill into me as we called out each others names for the heavens and everybody else to hear. My nails left red marks all over his back as my vision blurred and he gave a few more weak thrusts, lengthening the sensation for the both of us. Finally, he collapsed next to me and I winced a little at the loss of him inside me before he pulled me close and I was draped across him just like last night. We lay like that for a while, just holding each other, when suddenly his voice rang through the room.  
“Any regrets?” he asked.  
“No.” I replied, kissing his chest as I admitted to myself that I had fallen for him, fast and hard. “None at all.” It was the plain truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I put some of my favorite music in here. I regret nothing!


	3. Don't tell them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny gets a call that messes everything up.

Weeks later, we still stuck together. Nobody knew. Dean had only asked me to check in on Benny and call if anything went wrong, so I didn’t feel obliged to tell him something as intimate as what was going on between Benny and me. It was my private life, after all, not his. We went on hunts together, Benny and I. Nothing involving vampires, I didn’t want to put him up against his own kind again if I didn’t have to. We always spent the nights together, at this motel or that, sometimes in the throes of passion, sometimes just in sweet companionship. Neither of us ever gave their feelings a name, and I thought we didn’t need to. None of this was the Winchester’s business. That is, until Dean called (Benny had kept his phone, although he told Dean he wouldn’t) and Benny set off in the middle of the night in a stolen car, since we had left his truck in the town we met, leaving me with a soft kiss, but without an explanation. That was the last I saw of him for months.  
I would wake up at night, drenched in sweat from nightmares as every hunter, my heart aching for his presence, my body craving his touch, and would find the bed empty next to me each time. After bearing it as long as I could, I finally caved and called Deans other, other cell. By some miracle, he picked up after just a few rings.  
“F/N! What can I do for you?” He sounded exhausted.  
“Dean, I… I just need to ask you something.”  
“Then spit it out. Don’t be shy.”  
“Alright, then. Have you heard from Benny? He didn’t call since you asked him for help, and I’m a little worried.” Understatement of the millennium. There was nothing but silence on the other end of the line.  
“Dean?” I asked, growing nervous, a sick feeling homing in on the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong. Completely, utterly wrong. “Dean?”  
“F/N, I…”  
“What is it???” I shrieked.  
“How far are you from Lebanon, Kansas?”  
“What does that have to do with anything?”  
“Just tell me, please.”  
“About five or six hours, I guess…”  
“Get there. I don’t want to do this on the phone.”  
I hung up on him without further ado, grabbed my belongings and got into Bubblegum. The feeling in my gut kept growing.

Driving like crazy, I made Lebanon in four hours. Deans car was already waiting for me at town limit.  
“What’s going on?” I demanded, staring him down.  
“Not here. Follow me.”  
We both got back into our cars and I tailed him for a while, until he stopped in the middle of nowhere, a structure that seemed awfully suspicious looming above us. Without a word, he opened a door for us with some weird-ass key and we descended a bunch of stairs, where I found myself in a cavernous room with large tables and a tired-looking Sam came up to me and gave me a hug.  
“F/N, it’s great to see you. How are you?”  
“No offense, Sam, but I’m not here for Smalltalk. Now, if you guys please, would someone tell me where the hell Benny is?”  
Sam looked away. as if he was ashamed, and Dean looked straight at me for the first time.  
“Dead.” he said bluntly. “I beheaded him.”  
I lunged at him, landing a well-aimed punch at his nose.  
“He trusted you!!!” I yelled as I kept swinging at him. “Saw you as a brother!!! AND YOU KILLED HIM??? Why did you even ask me to check on him in the first place, you traitorous son of a bitch?!?” Suddenly I felt Sam’s hands restraining me and pulling me towards a chair.  
“Calm down, F/N.” he scolded me while his brother wiped some blood off his face. “Hear us out. We can explain.”  
“I don’t want your explanations.” I pressed out between my teeth.  
“But I think you will.”  
He then sat me down at one of the tables, staying close to ensure I could not attack his brother again. Dean sat down on the other side and they launched into a lengthy tale. They talked about ganking hellhounds, trials to shut down hell. How Bobby’s soul had been brought to hell by a rogue Reaper and sending him to heaven was the second trial… At this point Kevin walked in, but turned back around on his heels as Sam shook his head at him. They kept talking… About Crowley killing the Reaper before he could pick Sam up in Purgatory and Dean calling Benny for help, and Benny staying behind there, because he felt he didn’t belong here anymore, didn’t fit. That stung, but I forced the tears back. They were still blabbering. “… not completing the trials…Sammy would’ve died… Crowley in the dungeon…”  
“Wait.” I perked up. “Say that again.”  
They looked at me, dumbfounded.  
“This place has a dungeon??? And the King of Hell is in it???”  
They looked at each other.  
“Yes.” Sam nodded. Interesting.  
They told me a few more things, and when they ended, I just sat there without a word. I had a hard time believing all of it. Sam led me to one of the many spare bedrooms and told me I could stay as long as I liked before leaving me alone.  
I sat cross-legged on the bed, letting my tears fall freely now, without sobbing, the only sound being that of the salty liquid hitting the sheets. How could Benny think he did not have a place in this world anymore? He belonged. Right here. At my side. I thought I had shown him that. Apparently I had failed. Maybe I should have put my feelings into words, maybe I should have-  
My thought were interrupted as the sick feeling in my gut finally exploded and I leapt up, making a run for the bathroom. As I hung over the porcelain, heaving and gasping for air after my stomach was empty, tears still falling from my cheeks, a glimmer of hope suddenly sparked up in my mind. I got up shakily and walked back to my room, where I brushed my teeth. I then knocked a few doors down the hall and Kevin opened the door. He saw I was out of it and wrapped me in a warm embrace for a few moments. Knowing I was in his room for a reason, he then released his hold on me, asking:  
“How can I help?”  
“You live here.” I stated. “You know this place. I need you to bring me to the dungeon. I want to talk to Crowley.”  
Kevin led me through a string of hallways and down some flights of stairs into a room full of rather industrial looking storage shelves. He pushed a lever and left me alone with a sympathetic nod, as I had requested on our way down. The shelve swung open, revealing Crowley sitting behind a desk, cuffed and chained, dirty and unkempt, but smiling nonetheless.  
“Why did you sent the Prophet away, love? I had so much fun when I last saw him.”  
“I’m not here to indulge your wit, Crowley. I have a question. And you will answer it.” I slowly stalked into the room.

My fist connected with Crowley’s face and I heard his cheekbone crack as a pain I chose to ignore shot through my whole arm.  
“Tell me where I can find a rogue Reaper or I will rip your guts out, one gut at a time.” I yelled. “And I swear to the God whose location we don’t know, it won’t be quick. I will take my sweet time taking you apart. Bit. By. Tiny. Bit.” I promised. He smiled with the intact side of his face.  
“My pet, you know nothing is free. I want something from you in return.” he rasped.  
“You will get nothing from me.” I scoffed. “Not a scrap. Definitely not your freedom. Least of all my soul.”  
“Why ever not?” he asked, feigning innocence. “And who said anything about freedom and souls? All I want is for you to give a voice to your deepest secret. I know it, of course, but I want to hear you say it out loud.”  
My eyes widened in surprise.  
“Why?” I asked. “Are you going soft?” Maybe Sam’s blood really was still affecting him. He shrugged.  
“What does it matter? Do we have a deal?”  
I took a shaky breath and collected all my courage.  
“We have a deal.”  
“Then you know what to do next.” he purred.  
“I will not kiss you.”  
“That is your loss. It is also not what I meant. Our deal stands. I was referring to you holding up your end of the bargain.”  
I nodded, taking a second to collect myself before I said what the King of Hell wanted to hear.

I practically ran back up to my room to throw everything but the barest necessities and all the cash I had out of my backpack. Dean and Sam had gone out for whatever reason, so nothing stopped me from checking all bedrooms until I found Dean’s, easy to identify due to all the empty pie boxes littering the surfaces. I snuck in and stole his angel blade from the wall, putting it in my backpack next to my favorite gun and the Stiletto I had picked up a long time ago on a hunt in Italy, where I had originally gone o take a break from hunting. I left Dean’s room and went to see Kevin once more. He stared at me, wide-eyed, guessing I was leaving as he looked me over.  
“Where are you going?”  
“I can’t tell you, Kev. I’m sorry. But please don’t tell them I talked to Crowley. They’d beat everything out of him and try to stop me. I can not risk that.”  
Kevin nodded, and I leaned in to kiss his cheek before turning to walk away.  
“Oh, one more thing.” I turned back to face him, pushing Bubblegum’s keys into his hand. “Make sure she’s parked somewhere safe.”  
And I was gone.

It took me two days to get where I needed to go. I had left Bubblegum with Kevin because she was easy to track, as unusual as she was, and hiked towards Central Lebanon through the woods to avoid running into the boys. There I bought a bus ticket to the location Crowley had revealed. Now, I was standing in this dark alley, the tip of the stolen angel blade pressed into a guys throat. Needless to say, he wasn’t really cooperative.  
“Let’s try this again.” I hissed. “You will take me into Purgatory. Not Hell, not Heaven, just Purgatory. No detours, no return ticket. You will drop me off and leave, and you can go on with your life. Existence. Whatever.”  
“Last time one of us helped a hunter out, he ended up dead. Killed with one of these, as it is.” he nodded towards the blade. I growled.  
“You listen, listen good and proper. The only way you will get killed with an angel blade because of this is if you refuse.” I gave the blade a little push, still not breaking skin, to drive my point home. “And in any case, your friend Ajay was killed by the King of Hell, who is very… preoccupied at the moment. Also, he’s the one who told me where to find you in the first place.”  
The Reaper narrowed his eyes, relaxing his posture as much as it is possible with a knife at one’s throat.  
“One-way?” he asked.  
“Yes.” I confirmed, lowering the blade, but keeping a tight hold on his coat for insurance.  
“Alright, I’ll do it. As for payment…”  
“I suppose your life will suffice?” I hinted, twirling the blade in my free hand for emphasis. He clenched his teeth.  
“Indeed. When do you want to go?”  
“Now would be great.” I pressed.  
He nodded in reply and I took a step back, releasing him, so he could lead the way. We turned a corner and stood in front of a wall plastered in graffiti. Some of it was just tags, some quite sketchy, and some rather artful. What we were looking at was a picture of a simple doorway. He stared at it, and I followed his lead. Slowly, everything around us started to vibrate and the world became a blur. I squeezed my eyes shut, a “woosh” rang in my ears, and as I looked around me again, I was still next to the Reaper, but there was no graffiti, no buildings, just scraggly trees in a world that had a sepia tinge to it.  
“Purgatory Express. Can I go now?” my companion spat.  
“Sure. Whatever.” I said and he disappeared. I had something way more important to look for anyway.

After slaughtering my way through Purgatory for days that felt like weeks, with way too little sleep and food, one would have thought I would be on the edge of physical breakdown, but my problem was mental. I was close to despairing. Having questioned, maimed, threatened and killed more creatures, from Werewolves and Rugaru to Shifters and Wendigo, than I cared to count, I still had no trace of Benny.  
Then I ran into the first Vampires since my arrival. They were a group of three, but I had little trouble taking the first two down and incapacitating the third one enough that he was completely at my mercy. The Stiletto, dipped in Dead Man’s Blood, was buried in his heart and the angel blade in my hand as I had him pinned against a tree.  
“Ever heard of Benny Lafitte?” I asked, a threat clear in my voice.  
“The traitor who helped the Winchesters? Both of them?”  
I punched his stomach and he would have doubled over, had I not had him pinned.  
“Where is he?”  
“Last I heard of him-“ he wheezed “-he was taken down by three others as the younger Winchester escaped.” Then a spiteful note entered his words. “ They probably tore him apart. If you’re lucky, you might find all the bits and pieces. Unless, of course, they had a nice, warming bonfire.”  
He grinned, but only until I twisted the Stiletto deeper between his ribs and he screamed in pain.  
“You’re lying.” I hissed. “Where can I find Benny?”  
“I don’t know. He used to have a hideout near the stream when he was first here.” he began to spill. He knew I wasn’t going to ease up on him. Ever. Trading information was his only shot, and he was perfectly aware of it. “Walk that way-“ he nodded in the direction “-until you make the stream. Follow it as the water flows. There’s a great willow miles down. Turn away from the stream there and you’ll see a hill. There’s a cave system under it. If he’s still in Purgatory, he might be there.”  
I nodded. For a brief second, I considered killing him anyway, but I decided against it.  
“If you follow me-“ I warned, “-or go after Benny, or tell anybody in this forsaken place about our little chat, I will cut your head off after all. Understood?”  
The vamp gave a weak nod. I pulled my Stiletto from his chest sharply and walked away without another look as he collapsed at the tree’s roots.

Freakin’ monsters. Even in Purgatory, in Death, they had to stick to their routine. Like those two Vetala. I thanked God my Stiletto was silver-plated as I gave it a sharp twist and pulled it from her already disintegrating body. Right then, her friend lunged at me. I had my hand full with her, the willow the vamp mentioned at my back, but I thought I heard a whistle coming closer. I knew that sound… I got so distracted by it that she pinned me to the floor and I thought I was done for, but suddenly she was pulled off me and strong hands restrained her as I scrambled to my feet and rammed the Stiletto into her heart, twisting and pulling it back out. When she turned to dust that rained to the ground, my savior was revealed. I caught my breath.  
“What do you think you’re doing here, sister?” a familiar voice asked me.  
“What do I think? How about you tell me what you think you’re doing here? Why didn’t you came back with Sam and Bobby? Why didn’t you tell me you were going in the first place? And what was all that crap about not belonging up there anymore, about not fitting in that you gave Dean?”  
Benny just stood there and looked at me. Everything about him was exactly the same as when I last saw him. I was stumped. He did not answer me, and when I could not bear it any longer, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the gesture, but pulled away rather quickly.  
“There’s nothing to say.” he finally uttered. “I’ll show you to the portal, and you will go home. You have no place here.”  
“Neither do you.” I insisted.  
“I have a place here alright. This is where my kind ends up. It’s where I belong. I told Andrea, we’re all damned, and this is what it gets us.”  
He looked down and I slapped him. Hard. He didn’t move.  
“You are not damned, Benny.” I told him. He raised his eyes to me in wonder. “You belong up there. You fit. And you were wrong about what you said when you saved Sam. You were good up there. Not just any good, you were glorious. And I need you to come back with me.”  
“Why would you care?” he asked doubtfully.  
“BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU ASININE BLOODSUCKER!!!” I yelled, exasperated.  
Within the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine, his hands at my waist and the back of my neck, just like that first night. We kissed hungrily until my lungs were screaming and I had to pull away to breathe. He leaned his forehead against mine, eyes closed.  
“You are?” he asked, as if he was afraid this was all a ruse.  
“Of course I am. I don’t take just anybody to my bed every night for weeks.” I chuckled, and he gave a small smile.

I stumbled through the portal, wiping blood from my eyes. Of course, Of fucking course, a Leviathan had to detect my presence at the least convenient moment, just as we were performing the ritual that allowed Benny to “hitch a ride” in my body through the portal. Moving our linked arms as little as possible, I had twisted my torso and emptied my gun’s magazine into it’s forehead, in hopes of staling it’s approach. It stumbled shortly, more from the impact than anything else, but that gave me enough time to cover my now glowing arm, turn tail and run. I had almost been at the portal when it caught up with me, throwing me to the ground. Landing face down on a random branch, a sharp edge on it cutting through my left eyebrow, I had grabbed the wood tight, turned around and hit the Leviathan over the head. Again, I had of course not dealt any actual damage to it, but it seemed stunned I was even trying, and I had managed to break free and make he portal.  
Now I was on my hands and knees, in the middle of the 100 Mile Wilderness, Maine, trying to catch my breath. It was dark, and rain was pouring down on me. It was refreshing, actually. Once I could breathe without wheezing, I sat back on my heels. Mud was squishing under my knees, and I wiped my dirty hands on my shirt before taking off my backpack and retrieving my phone. I tried to switch it on, thrilled to find it still in working condition, and even more delighted to see I had surprisingly good reception. I dialed and put the phone to my ear.  
“F/N! You’re alive, thank God! Where are you? Are you okay?” Kevin picked up, sounding desperate.  
“Calm down, Kevin, it’s okay. I’m alright. I’m in Maine. 100 Mile Wilderness. Now, can you please put Dean on the phone? I have a question for him.” Silence. “Kevin?”  
“They’re… not here.”  
“Then where are they?” I demanded, growing impatient.  
“Maine, actually.”  
“You told them???”  
“They’re not stupid, F/N. When they came back and you were gone, with Dean’s angel blade, too, they kinda figured out what was happening. You apparently made pretty clear for them how you felt and they know you stop at nothing to protect what is dear to you. Since Crowley wouldn’t talk, they decided to go to Maine themselves. Dean calls every hour to ask if I have any news.”  
“When he calls again, don’t tell him you spoke to me. Please.”  
“F/N, they think you got yourself killed in Purgatory.”  
“Just give me the names of the town and motel they’re at. I will get there as fast as I can. I just want them to boil in their own stew for a little longer.”  
Kevin sighed, accepting reluctantly. He then gave me the address.  
“Thank you, Kevin.” I breathed.  
“You’re welcome.”  
“I’ll see you soon, Kev, bye.”  
“Goodbye, F/N.”  
We hung up. I stuffed everything, my phone, the gun that was still in my belt and the Swiss Army Knife I had used to cut my and Benny’s arm for the ritual into my backpack and got to my feet. First of all, I needed to find the road.

As the door of the dingy motel room was opened from the inside, I found myself face to face with Dean Winchester. He took in my mud-caked, bloody, scratched and bruised appearance, his eyes widening in shock. The Same held true for Sam, who sat on one of the beds, his laptop on his knees, staring at me.  
“Where-“ I huffed out “-did you bury Benny’s body?”  
As my demand sank in, he grabbed my right arm and shoved up my muddy sleeve. The glowing swirls beneath my skin confirmed his suspicions. He then tugged me into the room and let the door fall shut as he pulled me to his chest and closed his arms around me.  
“We thought you were dead.” he mumbled into my hair.  
When Dean finally let go of me, his arms were instantly replaced by Sam’s.  
“Don’t ever do something like that again. We could’ve helped.”  
I pulled back to give Sam my best bitchface, one that rivaled his own.  
“And how exactly would I have explained to you that I’d-“  
“Fallen for a vampire?” Dean interrupted. “Sweetheart, we kind of had that figured out after you beat me bloody back at the Batcave.”  
I collapsed into a chair, definitely in need of rest. And a clean-up.  
“Guys… Before we further discuss how stupid it is to fall for a creature like a vampire-“ I cringed at the thought of talking about my time with Benny to them “-can I please use your shower? And maybe borrow some clothes?”  
“Why borrow clothes when you can wear your own?” Sam grinned as he produced my duffel bag from behind the far bed.  
“How did you guys ever think of-“ I was stunned.  
“We didn’t. But when we discovered the mess you left behind in your room and decided to go after you, Kevin packed your stuff to take with us for when we found you.”  
“Kevin, huh? I guess he really was in Advanced Placement for a reason.” I said, and they smiled. I walked to the bathroom, but turned around before closing the door. “You haven’t yet told me where Benny’s body is.”  
“Louisiana.” Dean said, his eyes on the floor. “There’s a small graveyard a few miles outside his hometown. I… I thought he would have appreciated that.”  
I smiled at his words.  
“I’m sure he will.” I closed the bathroom door behind me and stripped down where I stood. I would have to trash those clothes anyway, so I stooped and bunched them up into a tight ball that I kicked into a corner before stepping into the shower.  
As I watched a mixture of grime, blood and soil run down the drain, I leaned my head against the wall. I would get Benny back. And he would still have some explaining to do. We did not have much time to talk in Purgatory, we were too busy not getting killed.  
I took my sweet time in the shower, washing my hair and scrubbing myself clean with cheap motel soap until my skin was pink and sensitive. I toweled myself dry and put on some fresh panties and a bra from my duffel – how I would have loved to see Kevin’s face when he packed those – before viciously attacking my hair with a brush. It took forever to get it into a decent state, but after I managed it, I put on a black pair of jeans and a purple tank top and left the bathroom, my glowing arm no longer hidden from sight.  
“How you feeling?” Dean asked.  
“Better. Much better.”  
“Look, F/N… I’m sorry about this whole thing. I just didn’t know. Benny didn’t even mention you stuck around when asked him to help Sammy out. And I really thought he’d come back with him and Bobby.”  
“It’s okay, Dean. I get it.”  
“Hang on, how did you find us here?”  
“Kevin. I called him and asked where you were, but not to tell you I was safe. I wanted you to suffer a little more. Finding out you killed Benny nearly destroyed me.”  
“I see. I guess I deserved that.” He looked away in shame.  
“Dean?”  
“Yes?”  
“Where is Sam?”  
“He went to get some grub. We figured you were probably hungry.”  
“Starving.” I pointed out, my stomach underlining the statement with a rumble that made Dean chuckle.  
“And once we’ve eaten, we’ll get into Baby and head to Louisiana. It’s the least we can do.”  
I nodded in gratitude and pecked his cheek before stretching out on the other bed until Sam returned. Then, I practically devoured the burger and fries he had gotten me, along with not one, but two chocolate milkshakes, which he knew were my favorite. My speed amazed even Dean.  
“What?” I asked. “It’s not like Purgatory has an overflowing buffet around every corner.”  
They both just scoffed in agreement and I leaned back in my chair, sipping on my second shake, waiting impatiently for them to finish so we could get on the road. When they were done, I slipped into my leather jacket, which had been at the bottom of the duffel, put on my boots and grabbed my few belongings to go wait outside. Climbing into the Impala’s back while Dean got into the driver’s seat with Sam riding shotgun as always, I asked a question that hadn’t crossed my mind before.  
“Dude, where’s my car?”  
Dean grinned at me in the rearview mirror. Of course he got the reference.  
“Back at the Batcave’s garage. She’s safe.”  
“Good.” I yawned.  
“F/N,…” Sam chimed. “I just… I want you to know that I’m so, so sorry. If I had know, I would have insisted on Benny coming back with us.”  
“Forget it, Sammy.” I was – occasionally – allowed to call him that.  
“But I want to-“  
“Sam. Stop. If it will make you feel any better, you can do the digging all by yourself when we arrive.” I offered, only half joking. Sam laughed.  
“Deal.” he agreed.  
It was the last thing I heard before falling asleep on the leather seats.

“How long did I sleep?” I asked as I shot awake. I wasn’t sure whether the sun was rising or setting.  
“Sorry.” Dean said over his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hit that bump so hard.”  
“Whatever.” I waved him off. “Just answer the question.”  
“About fifteen hours.” Setting.  
“What? Why didn’t you wake me?”  
“What for? So there could be three people staring out the windshield instead of just two? You were exhausted, so we let you sleep. You talk, you know that?”  
“Shit. What did I say?” My face went a shade of red Crayola would have paid me for.  
“Nothing I didn’t figure out when you beat me bloody already.” Dean laughed.  
“Thank God.”  
“You hungry?”  
“I could eat.” I admitted, so we stopped at a not too shabby looking diner in the next town we came through. Sam got a salad shake, which Dean and I shook our heads at, Dean ordered his usual bacon cheeseburger, and I asked for a stack of pancakes as high as the Empire State Building, justifying my choice by saying:  
“I just woke up. It’s breakfast.”  
When we got back to the car, Dean hesitated.  
“I suppose you would prefer we keep driving? Or can we stop at a motel for the night?”  
“I’d rather not.” I confirmed.  
Dean nodded in understanding and threw the keys to his brother, getting in the passenger seat himself.  
“Your turn, Sammy.”  
On and on we drove, with just a few more food stops where the boys would always switch seats so one would drive while the other took a nap. Twenty more hours passed, and we reached Benny’s hometown, where we checked into a cheap motel that charged by the hour to wait for nightfall. The clerk gave me an “Oh-you-little-slut” look that I chose to ignore. I just wanted a quick nap and another shower before we went to the graveyard.  
Sam softly shook me awake when it was dark outside. He and Dean were ready to go. Since I was on limited resources, I had crawled under the covers in my clothes, save for the jeans that hung over the chair. As the boys checked out, I pulled on my pants and boots, grabbed my jacket and met them by the car.

I left my jacket in the Impala and sat on the soft grass next to the grave Sam was actually digging up by himself. Dean stood next to me, watching his brother as I bit my nails. The younger Winchester kept on shoveling, the earth kept on piling up, and it felt like he would never finish. But suddenly, he stopped, threw the shovel next to the pile of dirt, and climbed out of the grave.  
“F/N, you’re up.” he said.  
I scrambled to my feet and jumped in, standing over Benny’s bones as Dean handed me one of their silver knives. The sight was a bit too much for me, and I nearly choked as I bit back a sob. Chewing down on my lip, I drew the blade across my arm and started to recite the spell. I gasped as I watched the gap between Benny’s head and neck close and heal, leaving ne sign he was ever beheaded in the first place, let alone twice. When he opened his eyes and breathed my name, I helped him up and then fell into his arms, sobbing.  
“We should give them some space.” I heard Dean say. The sound of the brother’s retreating footsteps followed.  
Benny held me flush against his chest as I cried. When my choked sobbing finally subsided, he kissed the top of my head.  
“I’m sorry.” he told me. I punched his arm, taking a step back and wiping the remaining tears from my face.  
“You better be.” I sniffed. “Let’s get out of here.”

Dean drove like a maniac, probably due to sleep deprivation, so we made it back to their “Batcave” in just about eight hours. Benny and Dean had shared a brief embrace when we came to the car, him and Sam had shaken hands, then he got into the back seat with me and we were on our way. Nobody said much, and we didn’t even stop for food before we reached Lebanon. At which point it dawned on me that Benny would need sustenance as well. Luckily, I knew someone.  
“Dean, I need your phone and probably some money.” I said when we stopped at a traffic light. My own phones battery had died shortly after we crossed the state line.  
“What for?”  
“You think you’re the only one who’s hungry?” I nodded towards Benny, who squeezed my hand.  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. Oh. Phone?”  
“Here. Take mine.” Sam handed me the device and I dialed a number I was very happy I had memorized.  
“Kieran? Hey, it’s F/N. I know, it’s been a while. Listen, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s kind of urgent.” Only half a lie. “Can you help me out with a bottle of AB neg? Now? Great. See you in ten.” I handed the phone back to Sam, who looked at me like I had just invented the wheel.  
“You have a contact in Lebanon General?”  
I shrugged.  
“How else would I have known how for away I was when your brother asked me?”  
Dean stopped by the hospital and I popped in to meet my contact. We made arrangements for the next day to catch up (and for another blood transaction), and I was back with Benny and the boys in a flash.  
When we arrived at the Batcave, we parted ways as the boys went to their respective rooms to eat and pass out. I led Benny to the room the guys had given me.  
“Why don’t you… have a drink? And make yourself comfortable? I’ll be right back. Just need to bring Kevin his grub.”  
Benny nodded and I continued down the hall to knock on Kevin’s door. He opened, and I immediately found myself in yet another tight hug.  
“Never do that again.” he said. “I never could’ve forgiven myself if you hadn’t made it back.”  
“Shut it, Kevin. I’m alright. So is Benny. Thanks to you, I might say. Now, we’re all exhausted, but we brought food.” I handed him his share. “I’ll still be here tomorrow, we can talk then, if you want.”  
“Sure. I heard Purgatory can be stressful.”  
“You have no idea.” I walked back towards my room. Halfway there, I turned around again. “Thank you, Kevin. I couldn’t have done it without your help.”  
As I entered my room, I knew I should talk to Benny. About everything. But seeing him there, alive, safe, with a bed in the immediate vicinity, all I could think of was ripping his clothes off and feeling all of him. So I did.”

We fell back into the pillows, panting and sweaty, bliss till washing over us in lazy waves. It had been rough, desperate and angry. But I needed it, as did he. We needed to be close.  
“So tell me-“ I started, once I could breathe normally again “-how could you think I didn’t feel anything for you?”  
“I’m a monster, sister. How was I supposed to be able to believe you did?”  
“You’re not a monster, Benny.” I leaned up to kiss him, and he hummed happily.  
“Let’s just say I was sure I didn’t deserve you anyway – I’m still not convinced I do – and without your heart, I did not have anything up here worth staying for. I love you-“ my heart skipped a beat “-but I was sure you could not care for me. So I had nothing to keep me here, or lure me back. I’m sorry. I should not have doubted you.” he held me close. My head rested on his chest and my arm across his stomach again. I sighed contentedly.  
“It’s over, Benny. Forget it.” I said softly. “But promise me something.”  
“Name it.”  
“Next time you let one Winchester cut off your head so you can save the other one from Purgatory, come back. And give a bitch a warning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't go for the usual "I love you."-"I love you too." thing because it's, well, usual. It's in almost every friggin' piece I read, and it kinda gets old after a while, so I decided to drop it. I might write it another time, but for this, it just felt right the way it is.


End file.
